


A Settling

by RoryE



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Bolvangar, Daemons, His Dark Materials - Freeform, The Magisterium - Freeform, the Gobblers, trans OC, trans girl oc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 22:03:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21363379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoryE/pseuds/RoryE
Summary: A short fic about a trans girl, her daemon, and their encounter with the Gobblers. Don't worry, this doesn't end like you might fear it does! I'm more trying to explore how a person with a daemon might settle into their gender identity and how the Magisterium would also be awful about it, and that would be another reason that they want to pursue intercision.
Kudos: 8





	A Settling

**Author's Note:**

> CW TRANSPHOBIA

She had no parents, as far as she knew. She’d come up on the streets of London, had been there for as long as she could remember. Her daemon, who was called Ren, had always been with her. They had never run with any of the urchin gangs that chased each other back and forth through the soot-darkened streets, but she knew how to hold her own in a fight. Her hair was long and ragged, but she tried to keep it as clean as she could, often observing high-born ladies as they walked past, and desperate to emulate them. She and Ren could always find something to eat, somewhere, though often not enough, and the little bundle of blanket, bowl, and knife that they kept with them had seen them through many a scrap, frigid winter, and sweltering summer. There were a few other children that she was friendly with, but none that she spent much time around. The one thing that she had, and which she thought was very special, was a secret hiding place, behind the brick facade of an old factory: a tiny room, inaccessible unless you knew which bricks to push in, in which she kept her books

She loved books. She’d learned to read from an older girl who had taken her under her wing for a few months, but who had moved on to find work elsewhere. Anytime she saw a scholar or rich man carelessly forget a book they were reading on a park bench, or saw the opportunity to nab one from a street vendor, she would. She found papers wherever and whenever she could, and Ren would sniff out pamphlets and other odds and ends that she could add to her collection. She would spend hours reading them, stealing matches when she could in order to see in the dim light of her nook. 

And so her life went, for several years. As time passed, she began to notice that there were differences between her and the other girls. Her body had begun to change, and distressingly so. She began to see traits that she had seen in older boys appearing on her own body, and it gave her such a discomfort that not even Ren could help her, and he would become distressed, changing from beetle to frog to blue jay, not knowing what to do. For he sensed her distress and felt it to his own core. They both knew that others thought that they were odd, would poke fun that Ren was male, but until now they had not really understood why. 

It was around this time that they began to see mentions of the Gobblers in the London newspapers. She’d noticed some disappearances herself, and one of the other kids with whom she would often steal pastries hadn’t been seen for a few weeks. It gave her a distinct sense of unease, and she and Ren discussed whether they ought to find a group to run with, at least until the danger had passed. Eventually, they decided not to. They could survive well enough on their own, they always had. They would simply have to be extra vigilant from now on.

One evening in mid-August, on a day of scorching heat, she and Ren found a magnificent book in the park. It was leatherbound, and the pages were thick and a rich cream color. And best of all, there was a twenty pound note tucked in the last pages! Ren had initially been suspicious, looking around in case it was a trick, and the constables were going to leap out of nowhere, their warthog daemons squealing. But the only other person nearby was an elegant woman in a sleeveless dress, whose golden monkey daemon was playing with her hair. Ren had agreed that it seemed safe to take the book, so she had snatched it and hurried back to her nook. Neither of them noticed the golden monkey tracking them with its black eyes, nor how it tugged on the lady’s arm as they ran away.

****

When she arrived at her nook, she knew something was wrong. A brick was out of place, and through it shone a light. She and Ren froze, their hearts pounding together. Ren became a cassowary, eyes narrowed, and she approached the brickwork. 

Pushing the brick aside she yelled, “GET OUTTA THERE, RIGHT. THIS EN’T YOUR PLACE, IT’S MINE!”

Her voice broke on the last word and she winced involuntarily. But she was soon distracted. The intruder in her and Ren’s secret space was the elegant woman that they had seen in the park. Her golden monkey daemon was looking through one of the newspapers that she had recently found. The woman looked over at her with mild interest.

“Oh, I don’t believe this little place  _ is _ yours, my dear. I don’t think for a second that you paid for it, did you?”

She shuffled sullenly. She wanted to throw this lady out, but knew that would make the whole situation much worse. Eventually she shook her head.

“No, I thought not. You just  _ use _ it, and no one has told you not to.” The woman smiled thoughtfully, and Ren changed into a dragonfly, flitting nervously around her head.

“Don’t you worry, though,” the woman continued, stepping out of the nook, “I’m not going to tell anyone. But I do have a proposition for you.”

She stared suspiciously. What could such a rich lady want with her?

“I’ve got some lovely books not too far from here, and I’d love to have you take a look at them, if you desired. And I’ve got some chocolatl, if you like. You’d be welcome to stay as long as you like!”

The woman held out her hand, and as she did so, the golden monkey approached Ren, who was now a bandicoot. Ren started back but then, hesitantly, crept forward and rubbed his snout against the monkey’s fur. The monkey began grooming him gently. She hesitated a moment longer, and then took the woman’s hand. 

“Wonderful, I’m sure you’ll love the books. Now, I’m Mrs. Coulter, and who might you be?” The woman’s hand was soft but strong.

She looked at the ground. This was usually where people began to make fun of her, when they learned her name, “I’m— I’m Aislinn, miss— missus. And that there’s Ren.” She gestured at her daemon, who was now walking alongside the golden monkey in the form of a grouse. 

The woman did indeed seem surprised at her name, “That’s...an interesting name. Did you parents name you that? Were they, er, confused?”

She shrugged, “Never knew ‘em, saw that name somewhere and took it for meself, seeing’s how everyone needs a name. I thought it was pretty. I know I en’t a real pretty girl meself, but, well. Seemed like a nice choice anyhow, I dunno.” She was blushing and looking anywhere but the woman’s face.

Mrs. Coulter gave a tinkling laugh, “Oh my dear. But you’re a boy! Now, you may be a boy with a girl’s name, but you are still a boy!”

“I en’t!” Aislinn said with an intensity that surprised her. Somehow, this was different from the teasing of the other street children. 

Mrs. Coulter’s eyes narrowed, and the golden monkey bared its teeth briefly, “Well, we’ll see whether you still think so after you take a look at some of these books, I believe some of them may address the topic...ah, here we are.”

They had stopped in front of an innocuous door, with peeling paint and rusting metal bands. Mrs. Coulter pulled out a key and open the door, and Aislinn and Ren followed her into a dim corridor with a stone floor. They walked down it and came to another nondescript door. Mrs. Coulter unlocked this as well, and opened it for Aislinn.

She knew her mistake the moment she passed the golden monkey, with Ren on her shoulder. As soon as she did, Mrs. Coulter gave her a little shove and she stumbled. Ren turned into a jackdaw and tried to fly back through the door but it had already been slammed. With a cry of rage, Aislinn ran up to the door and began pounding on it, but to no avail. They were trapped.

“Oy, quit with the banging, she en’t coming back any time soon, right,” an annoyed voice came out of the shadows in the corner of the room, which was empty save for a couple of foul-smelling buckets in the corner. She whirled around, Ren immediately taking his cassowary form again.

“Peter?” she asked, for she knew that voice. It was one of the other urchins that she was friendly with.

“That’s right. Aislinn? Blimey, you nearly deafened me an’ that’s the truth.” He stood, a head shorter than her, his hair sticking up in spikes, his daemon (who was called Selsa) on his shoulder in the form of a chipmunk. She jumped off his shoulder and became a chaffinch, approaching Ren and the two sniffed each other and rolled around for a bit, play fighting. Aislinn approached Peter and they both sat again.

“Is she with the Gobblers, you reckon?” Aislinn asked quietly.

“She definitely is,” said Peter seriously, “There used to be more kids here, they took a bunch away yesterday, only they said they didn’t have room for me or summat. Reckon they’ll be coming back for you an’ me an’ whoever else that woman catches. She offered me some pies and chocolatl, what about you, how’d she nab you?”

Aislinn flushed, “Well, she— she told me she had some book, y’know, and that I could read ‘em. Stupid thing, believing her like that. Both of us,” she said glumly.

Peter nodded but said nothing. She liked him because he never questioned her when she said what her name was and also never made fun of her for being a girl. She supposed that, if she had to be imprisoned and on her way to an unknown fate, she was glad to be with him, at the very least. 

Before long, trying to ignore their rumbling stomachs, Aislinn and Peter slumped against each other, fast asleep, their daemons curled in their laps. 


End file.
